The Nigerian Medical Tourism Scam

For a few weeks now a strange fellow came to us with a strange request.  His "client" was disfigured in an accident and wanted to have her surgery done in discretion,  Fair enough, seemed like a crazy episode of Nip/Tuck but then it got weirder and weirder and weirder and weirder and weirder.  Till I realised it was an a Nigerian Scam (as in the call ACTUALLY originated from Nigeria -- not a jingoistic conclusion).  Normally, for HIPAA Compliance we try not to disclose names of clients, today I will make an exception so that scambags like this are not allowed to fester (but this ass will probably change his name next time around).    Here is my correspondence with colour commentary along with it:

So Mr Moore (aka: Mr Nigerian Scam artist) sent me an uworkable UK # and then a US # when it did not work.  

To: Flotechline@yahoo.com

Mr Moore

Dr Feldman and I tried to call you today and was unable to reach you. The number provided to us was +4477 0006 1480. Being from the UK I re-dialed as +447710006 1480. but that went to a different bloke.

Rudy

To Which Mr Moore, Nigerian accent and all, called and left us a message to call:

Jerry Moore

Dear Ruby,

 How are you, Having discussed with my client. she has agreed to travel to Spain if China is not acceptable for you .More also i have concluded with her that the surgery services will cost a total of 5.5 million euros and she agreed to pay . Now i wish to let you know that i will offer you 20% of the fund apart from your 60,000 surgery charges to assist me cover up my part in the deal to avoid my client finding out my involvement.

 However my client states that her payment shall be in cash to avoid notice as she as faced a lot of financial violation criticism  after her late husband death who happens to be a formal president. She wishes to contact you to confirm exactly my discussion with her. I wish to conclude agreement with you before that. Get back to me as soon as possible.

Best Regards

Jerry Moore  

Well, long story short, "Mr Moore" told me that the client was willing to pay $500,000 for this surgery but I had to pay him a commission of $50,000 for making it happen and I am to give him $10,000 now and the balance once I receive payment.

this was my reply:

Dear Mr Moore

When I woke up this morning, I told myself how lucky and fortunate I must be to have come across your opportunity. I know there are many scam artists from Nigeria but like our former president said about Putin, I can look into your soul (mind if I call you Vlad Mr Moore? in honour of our former president?).  Anyways Vlad, so sure, send us an invoice and let's really make this happen.  Do you think we should bill her 1 kajillion Spanish dollars instead? Or maybe 10 Brazilian Spanish dollars?  I am not sure how many zeros there are in a Brazlian but i will go on BING and look it up (google did not have this info if you can believe it, but that's why I love Bing (did I mention that I could look into Bing's soul and I would see Chandler?).  Anyways, let me know if you want me to wire it to you or Western Union it to you but two things, I think you should ask the client to put the 1 Kajillion into the Spanish account or the 10 Brazilian, you are a great salesperson, you can tell me what she agrees to.  Oh I just checked Bing and it seems that 10% of 10 Brazilian is 2 million samolians.  We will be so rich after that, we will never have to work again? What do you plan to do with your 2 million samolians?  I have always wanted to raise Emus for their eggs.  Ever had an omelette with emu eggs? It's tough to crack but it is so worth it.  I usually smash it against my forehead that does the trick. I am also thinking of hiring Robert DiNiro to be in a short film.  I was told that DiNiro can make reading the phone book interesting and so I want to test that theory out and see if it is so.  I can already picture it by the time he gets to W he would be like Wong, Ann, Wong, Andy, Wong, Bill...and then he would look at the camera and do that face he does from Taxi Driver (you know the "hey are you talking to me?" face) and say "hey that's a lot of Wong numbers."  Won't that be awesome Vlad?  Anyways, well, I gotta go, I need to milk some goats for my coffee because I am all out of coffee mate.


Well I thought he would live me the F alone after that rant but Noooo...here is what this genius comes up with.  

From: Jerry Moore <flotechline@yahoo.com>

Date: Tue, 11 Dec 2012 14:36:13 -0800 (PST)

To: Rudy Rupak<rudy@planethospital.com>

Subject: Re: tried to call you

Dear Ruby,

 I called you but unfortunately your were not available. I appreciate your kind words, thank you so much.  I have a confession to make and that is I see your soul too and it is very kind and help-worthy.  However, I must say that I spoke to your competitors also such as Medjourneys and the Kiranclinic and they said that they would be willing to pay me 25% of the 10 Brasilian Spanish Dollars they would earn.  However, getting them to commit to a deposit was frustrating, they sent me a purchase order showing their good intention but if you can beat them to it by sending me $10,000 by western union in good faith then the deal is yours and I would honor my commitments to you and you can pay me less than what Medretreat offered.  If this is suitable, please send $9,999 to my accountant, Mr Femi Kumle in Lagos Nigeria.  You have 4 hours to comply to this request.

Thanks
Jerry Moore


Well you have to give him kudos for trying. So I western unioned $10 to this guy but first I had to get his address and contact details and once I succeeded  I told Western Union yes it is scam but I am going forward with it so that they can arrest the f)*&knuts when he tried to claim it.

I wonder how Nigerian Prison is treating my friend Vlad.

I wonder if they give PhDs out for suffering fools gladly.